My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize