I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
