It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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