He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
