Taylor Swift is so right about you.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize