My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
