Don't you send me to vm
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
