Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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