I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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