So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
