I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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