id be glad to
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize