i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
