Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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