Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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