i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
