i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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