dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
