Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
