And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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