i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
