.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
