at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
