So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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