she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
