I'm gonna have a badass scar
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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