I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
