Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
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