I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick