So how was he last night?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito