we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
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No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
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Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet