Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.