I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.