My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize