Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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