Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
