Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
the liver wants what the liver wants
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
