I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
