Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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