I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I deserve to be covered in dicks
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
