oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
