i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
This house was built for laser tag.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
