In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
