I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
