that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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