Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
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dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
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Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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