Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
