dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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