I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
