i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
