you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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