I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
We named our party play list daddy issues
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Your penis caused this!
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