I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
