did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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