I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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