i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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