You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
