Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
