i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Text me some of your sweat
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