It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize