please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready