Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes