ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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