Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
