is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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